I've had the sickness now for a solid week, and I've decided to make a list of pros and cons about the swine flu

Pros

1. University will send me food
2. Don't have to attend any classes
3. Roommates are scared of me and thus will do anything I ask
4. I can bestow my virus upon anyone I choose
5. Nyquil

Cons

1. I don't want to eat any food, I've lost 5 pounds already this week
2. I am getting behind in classwork
3. Constant fever is not that much fun
4. Cannot have anyone visit
5. Roommates constantly Lysol everything I touch

That's a solid 5 vs. 5 right there, the pros and cons list could make a sweet pickup basketball game.